Erika Lightbear

In progress

Synopsis

Sci-fi novella. A holiday cut short by a rogue on the run. Pursued by a dangerous assailant who chases them across the Universe. Patsy needs to get back to Earth (what’s left of it) and her band of mis-fit comrades are praying that the planet will save them as they battle to save it.

PREFACE

Thank you for purchasing the Pazblew Version III Pleasure Droids System. These state-of-the-art creativity bots represent 150 years of research and innovation. Literally the only limit to this experience is your imagination. If you’re concerned that you don’t possess a suitable imagination – Never fear, we have you covered. Our extensive research laboratories host a team of top programmers, psychologists and life coaches to help ease you into the ownership of this new and exciting technology. Your life will never be the same again as they slide seamlessly into your world and enhance every aspect of your existence! The roses will smell sweet and your special someone will only have eyes for you. Imagine waking up to that one person, companion or pet. Want a Sabre Tooth Tiger – no problem. Have a dream to fly on your very own dragon – easy peasy.

However, before you open your package and begin the initiation sequence there are a few minor details that we need to cover:

Consent: You must consent to having these devices in your life. There is a biometric voice stamp at the end of this recording which you will have to activate to continue with the download.
Prior to activation you must have a clear and precise image in your mind or at the very least in front of your eyes; so that the bots have a straightforward objective to achieve. We recommend a quiet space with you alone and as little background activity as possible.
Pazblew cannot be held accountable for reckless miss-use of this product. Laws regarding the application of these bots vary from Galaxy to Galaxy and please make yourself aware of the specific regulations for your area before proceeding.
Additionally; we would like you to take time to understand Pazblew Corporation’s terms and conditions prior to activation. Failure to comply with basic procedures may limit your rights to a refund and/or compensation in the event of a claim.

On behalf of Pazblew Corporation we would like to welcome you to our universe and sincerely hope that you enjoy your new and improved future.

Background Information: Lambian Battle Goats

Have you ever woken up and thought to yourself ‘I feel like I’ve been trampled by a herd of Lambian battle goats?’ If you have then you’re not alone. The next thought would be ‘what exactly is a Lambian battle goat?’. Allow me to elucidate.

These goats are genetically modified. They originate from the Lambian peninsula on Piley Mar, a largely rural planet on the opposite side of the Milky Way. They were bred originally as biological bulldozers to flush the forest army out into the desert, to bring a final and grim end to the civil war that had raged for centuries. Once they had completed their task they were repurposed as a clean-up squad to clear the debris after a huge reactor melt-down in the city of Blayoo on the planet of Saulrish. They were spectacularly successful; but then the government found that they had a heard of radioactive goats charging around their planet, breeding and destroying everything in their path.

They are bad tempered creatures at the best of times. Their key character qualities being: stampeding, devouring absolutely anything, fighting and jumping. What they lack in brain power they more than compensate with sheer might and determination. Each goat is about the size of an American school bus and they can reach speeds of up to 70 mph. When galloping they become energy efficient and can cover huge areas of land in a very short time. Keeping them contained is a significant challenge that no-one has actually mastered yet and there is currently a reward of 60 trillion Galactic Yen to the first person that can make this happen. They have pest status on at least 15 planets and are illegal to transport alive anywhere in the Universe.